Alright, I have been spending alot of time working on my own story with my own characters etc. I'm mostly still in the planning stages but I'm having real fun with it.

I guess what I'm asking is that anyone who writes their own stories or fanfiction could take alot at this passage and give me some critical advice, and could maybe answer these questions.

What did you think of the passage?
Could there be anything improved?
Would this be the sort of story you would read?
What did you think of the two characters?
Is there anything you would write differently?
Do you think the story should be in third person or stick to first?

A huge thank you to anyone who reviews this, it means so much to me!
Well, here's the passage...

-----

Ok, I'm making this promise to not only myself but also Eric who I know will appreciate this very much.
...
I will never ...
Ever ...
Ever listen to Oscar ever again.
Why? Some of you may ask? Well for a number of reasons really.
The first being that he is a lazy no good excuse for a cat who spends most of his time sleeping on my bed, and then leaves orange cat hairs all over it, the result being that I have to be the one cleaning it up.
The second reason is that he's a very sly cat, but I have no idea how, maybe it's the fact that he's been alive for over two hundred years and he's picked up a few things. Or maybe it's because he was sly when he was in human form, and his grandmother told him the secret to getting his way all the God damn time.
The third reason, and this is probably the main reason, is that he is... a cat, and when it comes to cats, I can never win. Whether it's because their cute, or their claws can leave a nasty rip in the skin, or for whatever the reason, I can and will never win.
So why is this running through my mind?
Mainly because I'm walking deeper into a dark and wet forest, the same cat sitting on my right shoulder, while he himself leads the way towards a small fishing village, which just so happens to sell his favorite kind of fish to eat.
I decide to run the list of reasons over again.
“Make a left turn when you reach that log.” Oscar's voice echoed though the forest, and I found myself impressed by the way his voice had become so much more annoying simply because of the echo.
“Which log would that be?” I asked, despite the fact that I could see it, but if it made Oscar even a little bit angry, then mission accomplished.
He sighed and I wasn't at all happy with his reaction, “can't you see it? It is right in front of you.”
“Yeah, yeah” I muttered, “I see it.” I did what he commanded and made the turn when I shortly reached the destination, my eyes quickly gazed over the log and swiftly looked back up again. Frog-spawn isn't the most pleasant of sights.
“Now make keep heading forward, we should there in ten minutes.”
“Ten minutes?!” I half shouted, “my God Oscar, why couldn't we just waited for Eric to take us on the cottage? Surely it would be better?”
“Eric doesn't like coming here.” Oscar simply answered, but I wasn't at all happy with him just saying that.
“Then maybe we can just find another fishing village, we've been to dozens before.”
Oscar just shook his head while at the same time tried not fall off my shoulder, “No, it's the only place where I find this type of fish, and I haven't eaten it in almost sixty years.”
“Sixty?” I didn't at all sound interested. “Wow, sometimes I wonder if you would have an orange beard if you turned human again.”
He took as much enthusiasm in answering as I had asking. “Oh and here I wonder why you haven't gone into entertainment yet.”
I rolled my eyes, deciding to be the bigger person mentally instead of just physically, so that I could get some peace and quiet for a few minutes and think to myself.
I could see that the forest was getting lighter, which meant we were getting nearer to the fishing village, that ten minutes had of gone faster then I had expected.
But it was such a shame that I will never be able to wear these boots ever again, not with all the mud now on them, oh well, guess I'll have to throw them in the bin when we get back to the cottage. Not that I want to in the first place since they were my favorite things to wear, if I knew Oscar would lead me through a forest then I would of put on my old trainers.
Still, there was no point complaining about it, we were heading nearer to this village Oscar was talking about.
“Make one last right turn when you reach the tree in front of you and we'll be there.” Oscar commanded and I could here the excitement in his deep voice.
I turned my head slightly towards him, so the corner of my eye could see the orange cat on my shoulder. “You really are looking forward to this. Aren't you?”
It was now his turn to roll his eyes, “no shit Sherlock. How long did it take you to figure it out?”
“Don't be mean you old fur ball,” I muttered, “and what kind of fish is this anyway? I mean is it some special kind that only lives in this part of the world?”
“You're almost right,” Oscar said, and I released that both of us had finally got over the insults for today, but I didn't say a word about it as Oscar had started talking again. “The fish is called Moon-Sky, and it only breeds in a small part of the sea, around where the village is. Mind you it's impossible for any normal human to find, the whole village is covered by a reflective wall, so it hides under the illusion that there's only trees and dirt.”
“Cleaver illusion.” And it was, anyone that didn't know anything about witchcraft or magic would never figure it out. They would just believe that there were just more trees. “But would happen if they still walked forwards? Wouldn't they end up in the village?”
“I said reflective wall Rowan, they would just bump into the wall and assume it was a tree.”
“Oh. Well then what's the village called?”
“I believe it's name suits it very well. The village is called Illusen.” He said and as I watched his face I could help but think that I knew for a fact that cats couldn't smile, but from the look from Oscar's face, I could have been fooled.
Pretty soon after, when we had finally almost reached the end of the forest, I noticed how his yellow cat eyes lit up and then he moved his body position slightly, the result being that now he was leaning over my body, his two front paws sitting on my head and his back legs where dangerously near to my neck.
I really hope that he keeps his claws to himself.
“Welcome to Illusen, Rowan,” Oscar said, and as we finally stepped out of the forest, I could see why my cat friend was so excited about the village.
Illusen was something unlike anything I had ever seen.

-----

Also this very short passage...

-----

“Always eat apples, they're just brilliant!”
I laughed, “and why is that?”
“Well”, Eric began. “Of course an apple a day keeps the doctor away, they're shiny, they taste great, plus they make great vampire repellent!”
“Why's that?”
He tossed the apple from one hand to the other, “Actually, I have no idea. All I know is that an apple keeps your neck bitten free, so have an apple with you at all times”
I scoffed loudly bringing his attention back to me. “Now days girls want to bitten by vampires.”
“Great,” Eric said with a hint of sarcasm, “more work for me.”
I really couldn't help but smile, it was always a rare occasion when Eric decides to use sarcasm.

-----

I sorry if there are any grammar mistakes, it did always pull me back in school.

Thanks for reading it, please tell me what you thought!